Latest Blog posts from Family-Lawfirm.co.uk

Don’t sell yourself short on divorce

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DIY divorce is an unusual concept if you ask me. Household DIY is fine, putting a shelf up or painting the ceiling, fairly straightforward and not dependent on any significant specialist skills.

Starts to get a bit different when you talk DIY in relation to your car. When your car breaks down, most people will not go online to buy a standard repairs pack and then fit the bits themselves in the hope that everything will be fine. You need to have an idea of where to start and perhaps some specialist skills and experience to fix the problem.

Similarly, if your washing machine dies, it is unlikely most of us will order new parts and fit them, at least not without having a good look at things first and attempting to pin point the problem. Again, if you have some experience, you might be more likely to chance your arm but I am sure the more common course of action is to call in an expert.

So when an individual has made the decision that their relationship is over and they need to look at ending the marriage, I find it a little strange that people will want to simply go on line and pay £37 for a standard DIY divorce pack to get the marriage dissolved? In these difficult economic times, I understand, many people are making economies, as I said in my blog last week, but people shouldn’t sell themselves short on divorce. And of course it needs to be clear that DIY cost does not include sorting out the finances and the kids, amongst other things.

It is an important issue, one where there is no “one size fits all” solution and where advice and guidance from a trained professional in family law is essential. If not, it could create problems for years to come, whether in arrangements for contact with children, claims on assets or even finding out that you are not actually divorced after the dust settles!

I have heard DIY divorces are on the up and I suspect this is down to a large part of tightening of belts. On the face of it, just paying a very small amount for a pack where you can sort out the paperwork at home looks appealing. It could also be that that sort of package is much more widely available now than it would have been a few years ago, and then there is the lingering belief that divorce solicitors cost a fortune – but they don’t have to.

An experienced family law professional should be able to do many things that a DIY divorce cannot, for instance:

Advise what course is right for you, as every case is different
Help fill in and file documents correctly with the court
Ensure arrangements are settled for the division of assets and child contact etc
Give peace of mind that no loose ends are left
Point you to additional help agencies.

Doing it yourself could lead to something falling down or leaking in the future – or the wheels coming off completely – which is likely to end up costing you a lot more than seeking professional advice in the first place.

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor

Divorcing with decorum

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Our advice to clients going through a divorce is always to try and remain calm in the face of adversity, remain polite to your soon-to-be ex and try not to enflame an emotional situation as it could end up costing more time and more money. We know this is a tall order. It is what people should aim for but in the face of extreme provocation from estranged partners who may be getting quite the opposite advice from their Rottweiler divorce lawyer, it can be a nigh-on impossible task. We ask a lot.

However, if an individual can maintain their dignity and decorum in divorce, it can have tangible benefits. Having a useful discourse with the other half can keep financial settlements out of court and so save on fees. Not aggravating the other party may have a similar outcome. Staying calm may also cause you personally less stress and so intrude less into other parts of your life as you start again. This is common sense.

Divorce does not have to be a battle. Divorce doesn’t have to be expensive. Divorce doesn’t have to take over every part of your life. These messages are not ones heard very often unfortunately.

I was therefore tickled to see Debretts, whose guide to the peerage has been an essential tool for journalists, schoolchildren, the BBC and others for years, teaming up with a high-powered law firm to produce an etiquette guide for divorce: Debretts Guide to Civilised Separation (published in February priced £12.99 – it’s only fair I mention that).

Now, from what I can gather (having read this story), there is a certain amount of the content that is stating the obvious at best, or more likely should be taken in a light-hearted manner. For instance: “Throwing your husband's vintage wine collection down the loo or cutting his suits to shreds might seem like a therapeutic gesture when you're in the throes of rage and despair, but it can rebound on you and undermine your case." I don’t think most people really need to be told that and I would question how many people have a vintage wine cellar to attack.

It also suggests measures like family-friendly Christmas cards – presumably ignoring the fact you have split – and warns about not becoming a divorce bore by talking about it all the time, rendering you a social outcast when invites to parties are going out.

It has to be said though that, however much certain areas may state the obvious, the intention is good (setting aside the obvious other intentions of making a bit of money and gaining publicity for the legal firm). Anything out there to remind people that divorce doesn’t have to be “all EastEnders” with shouting, backstabbing and points-scoring, is a good thing. If the parties involved act with decorum, while it will never be a nice experience, it can be one that doesn’t leave you too deeply scarred.

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor

Four reasons why you must make a clean break

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There is no doubt that we are in difficult times. When established high street and brand names like Kodak and Peacocks are hit by the economic crisis, you know “times are hard”. Consumers are cutting back, making economies. Almost daily on the news there are reports of like for like sales being down. By all accounts, trading over Christmas was not great, with a few exceptions like Primark – which is unashamedly a budget brand.

It’s no surprise then that we are finding, in the family law arena, that these economies by consumers are also being exercised. There is a boom in DIY divorces (we are told) and we are finding people less willing to commit to getting the correct legal agreements drawn up in divorce to dot every “I” and cross every “T”. And this is false economy.

A good example of this is consent orders, or clean break orders. In a consent order the parties set out any financial agreement that they have reached at that time and formally dismiss the right for either party to ask for more money from each other in the future. This is not a requirement of a divorce but without it, there may be trouble ahead, as the saying goes. We are finding people are setting out how they want to proceed but not sealing it with a legal arrangement. So here are four reasons why a consent order is essential.

It can alleviate any future court litigation (and therefore costs) if you are able to agree now what the terms of your settlement will be.
It allows you to enforce any settlement made if one party defaults. For example, if the husband has agreed to pay his wife £50,000 in respect of her interest in the property they were living in and the husband does not pay, she can apply to the court to enforce that. If there is no consent order and she has simply relied on goodwill, this could be disastrous for her, especially if the property is in his sole name. He could legitimately sell the property and move away defeating her of her claim, unless she has a Restriction on the property protecting her interest – a measure often overlooked unless professionally advised.
Any agreement reached now will be based on the income and assets of the marriage at this point in time. If a clean break is appropriate, meaning that no future financial applications can be made against either party, then you are best to secure that now than be open to any applications in the future – or even against your estate after your death.
It creates certainty as to the future and allows the parties to concentrate on more important issues such as effective parenting.

It is essential that an experienced specialist family lawyer is employed to help draw up the documents and ensure they are legally binding. Without doing that, saving a few pounds now could cost a fortune in the future.

Susan Harwood
Family solicitor

What IS divorce?

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More than almost any other word I can think of, divorce comes with a lot of baggage. And there is no pun intended there! Say the word and people immediately think of 1,000 different things connected with it, from conflict and upset, to kids, cost and quickies.

The reality of course is that a divorce is simply the legal ending of a marriage. To get a divorce, you must have been married for more than one year. There are then certain steps which need to be gone through and after four to six months, if there is no contest and depending on how quick the courts are in dealing with the application, the divorce will come through.

A marriage brings with it certain legal responsibilities, covering such things as property, savings, pension funds, debts and inherited wealth. A divorce brings a legal end to those joint assets and liabilities – but does not necessarily tie up loose ends relating to them.

A divorce must be based on one of five facts, often called the grounds for divorce. Petitioners will need to elaborate on the ground they use and there are on-going calls for a no fault divorce. This would mean that people could simply agree that things had broken down without being forced to go into more detail, effectively apportioning blame. This can be anything from, “he leaves his dirty pants on the floor” to “I caught her in bed with my neighbour”. Whatever it is, it doesn’t help things. In fact, it can inflame an already charged emotional atmosphere and lead to delays and higher costs in divorce.

The most important thing to know about divorce though is what it doesn’t do. A divorce does not automatically sort our property matters, or settle finances, or decide on contact with any children. All these things must be settled separately and an experienced family law specialist will be able to ensure these are tackled in the most cost effective and comprehensive manner.

Without properly sorting out the financial aspects of a relationship with a formal agreement consent orders and clean break, things can come back to bite years into the future.

Andrew Woolley
Family law solicitor

Social media for lawyers

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There’s no escaping social media these days – as you’ll know if you are reading this blog! Whether it is Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blogs, myspace, You Tube or any number of other sites and services, it has never been easier to engage with others.

From a personal point of view, this is great for helping keep in touch with people you rarely see, keeping others posted on what you are up to, sharing good news and swapping stories. As a business tool, social sites like Twitter in particular make it easier to engage with professionals with a common interest or with potential clients. Be it family law, Manchester United or the works of Tolkien, those with similar interests can now find each other and share information quickly, cheaply and easily.

I have always had an interest in social media and we have been using both Twitter and Facebook for some time to varying degrees, as well as giving my views on a variety of issues via this blog. It takes some getting used to and finding the best way to use these channels to engage with the right people, but I feel they are essential now to the ongoing promotion of the business and getting useful information “out there”. It seems now that The Law Society agrees. Last week, it issued a practice note on the use of social media and there is some good and sensible information in there.

Maybe they are a little slow off the mark with this, but then, at the risk of sounding flippant, that is par for the course in this sector on many issues (see previous blogs on the use of email, electronic payments etc). Some of the advice does seem to imply that just because a lawyer is using social media they forget all the training about client confidentiality etc and common sense, which is certainly not the case in our experience. Not sure exactly who put it together but there is a wealth of knowledge out there, I’m sure there are many who could have passed on some best practice or hints and tips if asked.

However, it is still a very useful document for the uninitiated, particularly about things like privacy settings and making sure you understand how Twitter works before you inadvertently send a private message to all of your Twitter followers (read this as an example of how that can go!).

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor

Giving all divorced parents legal right to see their children

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It has taken family law a long time to ensure that children are put at the heart of any contact and residence issues. What is best for them is the starting point and I firmly believe that is how it should be.

Most of the time, this will involve them having contact with both parents, with both sides of the equation having a tangible impact on their offspring’s upbringing. And in most instances, this will be agreed between the parents, enshrined by the court and off everyone will go. However, there are still far too many instances when one party, usually the mother, then does not stick to the contact agreement and it is an uphill battle for the father to get anything done to force her to comply. Apart from anything else, it has seen the father, traditionally at least the major breadwinner, having to fund their own, often lengthy, court battle to see their own children.

Now it seems though that there is some hope on the horizon for dads as news comes that the Government is (again) drawing up plans to give both mums and dads a legal right to see their children. The aim is to give the law a little more bite in dealing with individual parents who do not then comply with court orders relating to contact.

The Daily Telegraph reported that courts will be put under a legal duty to ensure divorce settlements include contact from both sides. Parents who refuse to accept the orders will be in contempt of court and so face jail.

I feel this is the right course of action. Look at the campaigns like Fathers 4 Justice, with many genuinely caring partners who simply want to be involved in their children’s life but are blocked by obstructive ex-wives and have to fight lengthy and costly legal battles to make any progress at all. That is not right, and courts should be able to make swifter decisions on this type of case, as well as ensuring appropriate penalties are in place for those who do not adhere to court instructions as a deterrent.

I have to say that at the moment I know little more about the plans than what I have read in the papers. When the Family Justice Review came out in November, it suggested that it would not make contact for both parties the norm, saying it would put too much pressure on judges to be prescriptive about how much time a child should spend with each parent. However, this new revelation suggests the Government, in its response to the FJR, is resurrecting the idea. Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister, and Iain Duncan Smith, the Welfare Secretary, are understood to support the plans. The Conservatives also pledged to introduce the reforms while in opposition. How they will get around the issue highlighted by the FJR, I do not know.

I am a proud father and I feel that presumed shared contact is the right thing. I shall be looking out with interest for the Government’s response to the FJR which I understand will be published in the next month or so.

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor

A divorce is not just for Christmas

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Having mentioned the apparent annual rush for the divorce lawyers that we see in January each year a couple of times already in the last few weeks, I have been thinking more on this topic. The driver for this is the desire for us to do away with this unwanted tradition and for people to take a deep breath and consider the state of their marriage in the cold light of mid-January rather than on the last day of a two-week stay by the mother-in-law over new year. However, it was the question of what more family lawyers could be doing to help families who might be at a crossroad, perhaps buoyed by the words of Sir Paul Coleridge the other week, that really got me thinking.

Whatever we do should be a year-round commitment rather than just a policy we roll out as some sort of January sale. Christmas brings things in to focus but for some, perhaps many, it will be the stress of the season seeming to bring things to a head. With our experience, family lawyers are expertly placed to help people think on whether it is simply this or a real and underlying fault line in the relationship. But should we be meddling?

It could be that a suggestion of counselling could help many couples in this situation and give them a real chance of saving their marriage rather than throwing in the towel. Wasn’t this, after all, what Sir Paul was suggesting when he said we needed to get away from the culture of recycling relationships when they started to go off track just a little? I have often said that family lawyers are more than just legal advisors and this is an area where we can demonstrate that – by pointing couples in crisis at people who might be able to help them.

Of course, it would be unrealistic and overly idealistic to think that we could help “fix” relationships in this way. Relationships falter for many reasons and often the best solution for all concerned is for the couple to go their separate ways. In these situations, family lawyers can help guide through the legal process of ending a marriage and in settling arrangements for the road ahead. And whereas, in some instances, we may be able to give encouragement to struggling couples and suggest counselling may help, conversely we may be able to help others recognise that things are over. It is not our job to interfere or pretend to know the nature of the couple, but we can read signs and, again, point people to the right counsel.

I genuinely feel that if an individual is in serious doubt about their relationship, consulting a family lawyer at an early stage is the best course of action. This is not because we want to immediately sign up a new client and get them on the road to divorce but because we can best advise them on the options and outcomes. At any rate, I have belatedly resolved that my new year’s resolution is to do all I can to give the best and most rounded advice to those who get in touch, whether they end up being clients or not. I hope it’s not too late.

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor

Arbitration to help in divorce settlements?

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So what will be new in family law for 2012? What trend will be “in” for the year? It’s difficult to know really. After so much happened, comparatively speaking, in 2011, it is difficult to see there being any additional big moves for 2012. It is more likely to be a year of consolidation, as the management speak goes.

In 2011, we had the long-awaited Family Justice Review which arrived with an apologetic whimper, introducing the Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs) with very little consultation or guidance, making mediation the first step for couples seeking to separate in the hope that settlements can be reached without the need to “go to court”. The long-awaited Legal Services Act crashed onto the scene in October without the much anticipated flurry of high street big boys clamouring to sell legal services to every shopper. The jury is still out on that one and there is still a significant amount of head scratching going on.

Mediation is just one form of Alternative Dispute Resolution, or ADR, (collaborative divorce is another) and that really was the headline story for the year. The aim is to free up court time by encouraging people to settle without needing to go before a judge. It is an admirable sentiment but of course depends on the individuals concerned adopting a pragmatic approach, something not always possible in the heat of an emotional battle.

However, the approach is here to stay and I was interested to read recently the comments of Lord Wilson of Culworth, a justice of the Supreme Court, who appeared to suggest the next ADR step. At a reception hosted by the Collaborative Law Society, he suggested the introduction of arbitration into family law could be an additional step to resolve issues between estranged couples by an empowered and knowledgeable individual. They would be able to settle matters without a court hearing when mediation has failed to find a common ground. I think I like this idea. It would certainly help overcome the Achilles heel of mediation which I mentioned above, namely that if a couple don’t want to settle, no amount of mediation is going to help them settle. You can lead a horse to water…

It could have the added benefits of speeding up the process and, in some instances, keeping messy break-ups out of the public arena and settled behind closed doors. I imagine some celebrities may like this. How it would work in practice, I do not know. For instance, who would be the arbitrator (why not a family solicitor?) and how would their decisions be made binding – and what would be the appeal process if someone really felt aggrieved? On the face of it though, could be one to watch for 2012.

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor

Pensions should not be forgotten when reaching a settlement

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If you’re anything like me, then the world of investments and pensions is something alien. I am ill equipped to make more than the most superficial foray into their machinations and so rely on the experts to advise me on the right moves to make, where we are at and where we are likely to end up.

This attitude could explain why, when considering a divorce settlement, many people still don’t think of the pension pot as an asset to be divided. They are either aware it is there but assume it is protected solely for the person who has been paying into it regularly (often, a wife may have given up on or cut back their career to raise children and so their pension may well be significantly lower) or else it is just too complicated to consider. The real danger is for couples who decide to sort out their divorce themselves, without the help of a family lawyer. This can be a successful route for some, but if there’s any doubt about what assets there are, especially the value of a pension as an asset then it really is worthwhile taking advice.

Best first step is to discuss with a family lawyer experienced in dealing with financial settlements whether a pension should be shared or if a greater portion of an alternative asset, like the house for example, should be agreed instead. This is called offsetting. There is no automatic entitlement to a spouse's pension but the court will look at all the facts and figures in each case.

Offsetting or sharing of a pension is the more common remedy used by the courts but an alternative is earmarking. With earmarking the court awards a percentage (and it can be 100%) of the income from a pension to the other party or former spouse.

It is important to note that when a pension is divided or shared this does not necessarily mean that a cash sum will immediately be handed out. It remains a pension and so cannot be drawn from until the person holding it draws from it on retirement.

Whichever course, it is likely to be tricky and in most cases your lawyer will call on the help of a specialist independent financial adviser. It is vital that you get the right advice.

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor

Judge calls for more help for families

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Sir Paul Coleridge is something of a breath of fresh air. The senior High Court judge has again spoken out in defence of the family and about the importance of trying to keep marriages together. He is advocating a change from the “recycling attitude” to marriage, where people ditch their partners for a new one whenever they feel like it rather than trying to make it work, to help cut the numbers of children caught up in the family justice system.

He believes marriage is better than cohabiting but has previously suggested that getting a divorce is “easier than getting a driving licence”.

Now he is setting up the Marriage Foundation, with the aim of making it the “go to” place for information on marriage. It will commission research, hold seminars and conferences, produce publications and lobby for family friendly policies, all geared towards helping families stay together and, one assumes, changing attitudes to get away from the disposable relationship mindset. “My message is mend it – don’t end it,” he says.

His message is most timely. Much is being made about the first week in January being the busiest in the calendar for family lawyers. For some couples, Christmas with the family is the last straw and they rush to seek advice on divorce and separation once the tinsel is packed away. While I would not necessarily concur that it is specifically the first week, it is fair to say that January is when we get most emails, calls and visits to our website.

His comments also come on the back of figures published before Christmas that suggest divorce is on the rise again, fuelled perhaps in some way by growing numbers of over 60s separating, the so called grey divorces, as couples reassess their relationships once their children have flown the nest.

It is a brave move for a High Court judge like Sir Paul to be so vociferous and proactive on a single issue. He is to be applauded for it and I just hope it doesn’t give the impression that he continues to be anything other than impartial in all matters relating to family law.

It is said the Marriage Foundation will cost around £150,000 a year and I really hope it gets the backing from the industry it deserves. The more resources available to help couples in times of trouble – rather than simply leaving them to dispose of partners on a whim – the better, as far as I am concerned. Of course, there are already resources out there for people. Services like Relate can help couples through troubled times, while websites like our own can spell out how the process works and what the options are, giving people a realistic view of what will happen and perhaps make them think through all the consequences clearly before making any life-changing move.

Good luck Sir Paul. We’re with you.

Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor