The festive season can be the most testing time of year for relationships.

Money, family, presents, parties and excessive drinking are all potential flashpoints, traditionally leading to a spike in business for family solicitors in January. Some even refer to the second week in January as the unofficial “divorce week”.

With around 150,000 couples divorcing in the UK each year, as many as one in five splits come around Christmas. Estimates now put the average cost of a divorce anywhere between £13,000 and £28,000, although at Woolley & Co we’d dispute this figure, with many of our clients reaching an amicable settlement and, with help, managing to control the costs.

So friends and family, as well as our clients, need to be reminded to keep a cool head. Christmas is an unreal time of year and decisions which have far reaching implications should not be made in the heat of the moment.

Woolley & Co’s top tips for the festive season include:

• Don’t make potentially life changing decisions in the heat of the moment, or after a little too much festive spirit
• Don’t allow friends or family members to influence decisions
• Do look for the help of an independent mediator to help resolve issues
• Do think about the children. Arguments or a prickly atmosphere are bad enough during the rest of the year but Christmas should be a special time for youngsters
• Don’t agree financial arrangements until you have consulted a specialist family solicitor.

“There are so many potential strains over Christmas that it can put stress on even the strongest relationship. We have seen our call levels go up and up over the last half of this year with money worries in the current climate pushing people to the brink of divorce. Christmas potentially will make the strain even worse, so it is important that couples don’t inflame things at an unreal time of year,” said Andrew Woolley, senior partner at Woolley & Co

“Any break-up is emotionally draining and can be costly. Christmas time is unique and not ideal for making hard decisions about relationships without carefully thinking about the consequences.

“If you do feel a split is inevitable, you may be well advised to seek help from a relationship counsellor first and then, if necessary, consult an experienced family lawyer.”

If you know someone who needs advice from an expert in family law, they can contact
0800 321 3832 or visit www.family-lawfirm.co.uk, the office closes for Christmas on 23rd December and is open again on the 5th January.

Angela Turner – Director of Counselling Works

Whilst a family lawyer can help with the legal practicalities of divorce and relationship breakdown, specialist emotional support must come from suitably skilled and qualified counsellors.

Whether it is anger management, dealing with stress or coming to terms with a relationship breakdown, an experienced and qualified counsellor can help a client deal with what is happening and move on so they can hopefully avoid similar problems in the future.

Angela Turner, a director with Counselling Works, established in 1998
in Milton Keynes, organises face-to-face and over-the-phone counselling sessions to help people going through difficult times.

“Relationships are one of the key areas we work in. People often leave it to the last minute to seek help with relationship issues but in most cases we can do something to help,” said Angela.

“Sometimes it is too late to rescue a relationship but we can be incredibly useful because the couple may well have to deal with each other for many years, particularly if children are involved. We can help them have an understanding of what went wrong, how to avoid similar mistakes in the future and how to deal with each other amicably.

“Sometimes a person will come on their own because they have an idea that a relationship has to end and they need to speak to someone about it. It is a way of finally arriving at that decision.

“Our meetings are rarely one-offs. The majority of people will come for six to eight sessions, and it can be as much about managing the relationship after it has ended as anything else.

“It is important to point out that it is not our role to tell people what they should be doing. We help them have an understanding of their situation. If people let it, this process can actually have a huge benefit.”

Counselling Works offers a full range of counselling services to individuals, couples and corporate clients. A one-off over-the-phone assessment is carried out initially to establish whether counselling can help and identify the right counsellor for the job.

Counselling Works can be reached on 01908 263800 or by visiting
www.counsellingworks.co.uk

Refuge, the charity supporting women and children against domestic violence, has revealed that 89% of respondents to a recent survey said that economic abuse was a common part of their experience of domestic violence.

This includes everything from interfering with a woman's access to employment or education, to being forced to take out credit cards and loans.

It has now produced a guide to offer support to people. More details on the Financial Abuse Uncovered by Refuge on the Woolley & Co website.

A woman is divorcing her husband of three years after finding him having virtual sex with another woman in online world Second Life.

Amy Taylor, 28, cited unreasonable behaviour in the court papers, describing how their marriage came to an end when she twice walked in on her husband pretending to have sex in the 3D virtual environment.

Her estranged husband is now engaged to one of the women he had an 'affair' with on Second Life - even though they have never actually met in real life.

Full details of this story can be found on the Sky News website here.

Consumers are being urged to bypass solicitors and instruct barristers directly in an initiative launched by the Bar Council.

A new report – ‘Straight there, no detours’ – has revealed that 89 per cent of consumers who went directly to a barrister believed they got better value for money and a more personalised legal service than they would have done by going through a solicitor.

Woolley & Co’s resident barrister Lisa Smith commented: “In family law there aren’t many barristers who would want to act as a family law solicitor as it is a very different role to being an advocate in court and most wouldn’t want to have to deal with the arguing in correspondence about who gets the family dog, whether contact with the children should end at 2pm or 3pm and so on.

“In contrast, a barrister is nearly always the right professional to use in a court room situation where you expect there to be conflict.”

A new Act has become law to help protect people against forced marriages.

The Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007 enables a person to apply for a Forced Marriage Protection Order (an FMPO) if they feel they are in danger of being forced into a union.

To find out more read Greater protection against forced marriages on the Woolley & Co website.

Professionals’ lunch 2

The second professionals’ lunch will be hosted by Woolley & Co on January 16, 2009. This event will be a smaller development meeting than September’s inaugural lunch. It will see the “caring” professions like mediators, counsellors and divorce coaches, get together to discuss how they can work more closely together with each other and with family lawyers.